Is it really that bad? :/

[Wildfilly94]

I've been helping my boyfriend out with college since we started in August of last year. I've revised and bulked up his essays for him, and did one or two myself. Well, this semester he's only had me help, not do. Today though he asked me to do a short 'draft' for him to use to write an essay that he's supposed to write in class tomorrow, due at the end of the hour (He CAN use notes/drafts/etc on it) and he's paying me $10 to do this. He has one more essay that, if I agree to do it, he'll pay another $10 for that. Well, this is fine because he's paying me for my time and he's my boyfriend, I want him to succeed and all the stress he has in life right now is really unhealthy, so I'm willing to do anything to help him.

Well, he must've mentioned this to his best friend, because that friend (M) messaged me this morning asking me to do his 6-8 page research essay for him and he'd pay $40 for it. I am in desperate need of money, but he JUST started his first job yesterday and didn't do so well. So there's the aspect of me putting so much work into this and getting nothing if he gets fired. I was really pissed when he asked me, because I didn't want anyone else to know about my helping Tim. This was a boyfriend-girlfriend thing, and only cause he's under a lot of stress. I have Tim's draft to do today, then I'm slowly working n a research paper of my own. M's is due a month from now, which gives me a lot of time, but Tim warned me about him maybe not keeping the job, and just flat out told me I shouldn't do it. But I need that money SO BAD, and with FCFC sales not working out well for me right now, I'm 60-40 on my decision to do M's essay or not.

Is it wrong to do it? I don't like doing Tim's stuff for him, but he's under pressure. M is just a spoiled rich kid who's failing college because he doesn't try. But I need that money... I don't know what to do. I feel wrong for thinking about saying yes to M, but again, I need that money bad.
Im $21 away from having enough money for my college application, and after that I'm saving for fixes for this car my dad has for me, a new phone since he's kicking me off his plan in a few months, and security money (Like right now, Symon's lip disease is back AGAIN and I need more medicine for him)

I know its cheating, and I know they, as well as myself can get in trouble for it, but when your desperate for money, what choice do you have?
Grrrr..

[Daimas]

I wouldn't even write my own mothers essays for her, so honestly I would try to figure another way of getting the 40 from M because it is their own fault they are not trying and if you help by writing this paper all you are doing is allowing them to keep slacking off. I can see writing a draft for your boyfriend to follow, that is a relationship thing and he is under stress from other things, but if M is as spoiled and rich as you say, let their rear roast in the fire for slacking off. College is a privilege not  a game.

[Ryuukokoro]

I have to agree with Daimas, I don't think writing an essay for anyone, even a draft, is helping them. In fact it just hurts them in the long run because they're not learning themselves. I wouldn't do it.

[Wildfilly94]

Thanks for the advice guys. I just don't know a nice way to say no. D:

[Pega]

Well, saying "I'm sorry," first seems to always help.

Like so:

"I'm sorry, M, but I just don't feel right about doing this for you. I only did it for my BF because of blah blah blah..."

I personally have told my now husband SEVERAL times that I wouldn't write his essays... but I hate to do my own, lol.

[toffeeca]

I agree with the others that I wouldn't write anyone's papers for them. They can be expelled for that and if you go to the same school I think you could as well. Plus they are not learning anything and it wont help them when they have to do in class stuff.

If you are having trouble telling him no, just tell him that you don't have the time to research and write his whole paper for him.

[Unbridled]

Charge him triple. He's paying for a service, $40 isn't enough for your time, intelligence and his luxury

[Silvanon]

What your boyfriend is having you do is write a draft for a paper that ultimately he'll be writing the final copy of, and his teacher has approved using notes & drafts for.  Notes in particular indicates he's allowed to bring in research materials he got from looking at other people's ideas, which could of course include your ideas.

The friend, on the other hand, appears to be asking you to help him out-and-out cheat.  There's a difference.

ETA:  If you really want to make money helping people with their papers, you can put an ad on a local campus bulletin board, or craigslist or what-have-you, saying you'll proofread people's papers for them for $x an hour/page/whatever.  You could also offer to help find research materials, etc.  There's a lot you can do to help people with papers, that desperate students will pay for, that still falls within the realm of good ethics.  And saying Yes or No to strangers is a lot easier than doing so with friends.  Although, speaking of which, perhaps a compromise with this friend would be to offer paid proofreading/material-finding services but refuse to all-out write the paper for him.

[Wildfilly94]

Yeah. I see what you guys mean. I'm going to tell him tomorrow that I can't do the essay for him. I don't want to get in trouble and possibly thrown out of college for money I can earn some other way (via: if I ever get a job, FCFC customs, or a loan). It's better to be safe than sorry.