SplitX needs so much more support than she's ever needed before...

[SplitX]

I do not want anyone to scold me on my behavior. I'm paying for my actions, so please don't fuss at me. I need support & love right now.
Yes, I am 17. And, yes... I'm pregnant.
This morning I took an ept just on a whim, feeling like something was wrong. It said I was pregnant, but then it faded away (positive sign faded to negative), so I thought I read it wrong. Then I went to the doctor and, sure enough, I'm pregnant... 6 weeks. I'm scared. I already told my boyfriend & we agreed to stay together and give the baby up for adoption to a deserving family. I told him that, if he left me just because I am pregnant at any time, he doesn't get any second chances.
So now... I'm scared and I feel like my whole world was ripped right out under me... Please don't scold. I just need hugs & love & support. I'm not telling any of my IRL friends right now, 'cause I don't want gossip. I figured that Secundi would be the most supportive place that I could go to right now, as I want to keep my life private to the 'real world' right now. </3

[YourLoveOnly]

*huggles Splitty* I have seen that happen with a friend of mine, but she ended up miscarrying.
I am sending lots of good vibes, hugs and love your way and I shall be there for you if you need someone to talk to ^^

[SplitX]

Thank you so much, YLO. I honestly hope the baby will be perfectly healthy. I'm cutting myself off of caffeine, junk food (as much as possible), I'm gonna rest, stay away from stress, and all that stuff... I'm looking up how to have a really healthy pregnancy. I just want to have a healthy baby that'll go to a wonderful family.

[TheLeet]

*hugs*
I hope that your pregnancy will go smoothly and that you'll find a really nice family for the baby. Good luck <3

[Ember]

As a fellow 17 year old I can sympathize (if only by imagining what I'd feel) with how you must be feeling. <3 I really wish you all the best and feel free to talk to me if you want to.

[Scullisto]

*hugs**hugs**hugs*

Splitty I understand completely, you are going through the biggest change in your life.  This cant be easy at your age and if I was there I would do anything I could to help.   *Hugs*

Do your parents know? Do you have a network of people close to you who can help?...i.e. family, really close friends, a health care clinic that can give you in person support?

My advice if you feel that you wont recieve support from friends/family go to planned parenthood and ask to see a counsellor.  You are smart and you are strong, but this is something that is best not done in the shadows or alone.  

We luv our Splitty, if ever you need to talk, PM, Im am a university professor that teaches Human Sexual Behavior, depending on your location I can try to find a network close to you so you and your boyfriend have resources and help.

*hugs**hugs**hugs*

[SplitX]

My parents both know, thankfully. Mom is super supportive already. I have no idea how Dad's really reacting. I have tons of friends, but I'm holding off on telling them until I start to really show.
-snugs Sculli- Thank you SO much. All I really want right now is a hershey's pie from burger king & a sprite, but I know neither of them would be good for me now. XD But if any of you have advice for keeping myself healthy & active during my pregnancy, please, please, let me know. n_n

[Scullisto]

*hugs*

My biggest advice is gonna sounds silly...but there is a book called "What to expect when your expecting".  It will take you through each stage of your pregnancy also ask your doctor about diet, he/she will be able to give you information on a dietician near you that can steer you towards a diet right for you and your baby at this time.  At first just remember alot of calium and vitamins are going to feed your baby so prenatal vitamins everyday, and at least 8oz of orange juice and 8oz of whole milk.  (alergy pending of course) Vitamin D is the vitamin that your body needs at this time.


That and it really doesnt hurt you or your nublet with a little chocolate pie

[SplitX]

Ooh sounds great, Sculli! Mom's getting the vitamins on her way home from work, when it's time for her to come home.

>___> Nublet, shall we eat pie? XD

[YourLoveOnly]

Now I want chocolate pie.. >_> xD

[SplitX]

YLO, come to my house & we'll go together. >:3

[Scullisto]

The chemical reaction that chocolate has within the chemicals on your brain releases endorphins which enables you to relax and give you the feeling of comfort.  Thus if you are relaxed, your baby wont feel stress.  /science


Now I want chocolate pie....

[SplitX]

Oooooh. I knew that, but I never applied it to this. Mwahaha.
-brings everyone over for pie-

[Scullisto]

Im off and running to work...I will be back to see how you are doing on my other computer.


*hugs*

[SplitX]

Thank you so much, Sculli~ <3

>_> I just talked to my boyfriend again. I can't help but smile as much as I hate him for saying "So you're gonna be a fattie, huh?" Then I told him he couldn't have any caffeine or eat anything other than what I eat the whole time. XD That hit him hard. Ehehehe.

[PonyMama]

When I was 18 I found out I was pregnant.  It was hard, and extremely stressful even at that age.  I was in a fairly new relationship (3 months of knowing eachother) but it was a reality.  We talked about all our options and we decided ont he one that woudl suit us best, as I see you and your boyfriend did the same.  Now you just have to remind eachother that you decide this for a reasona dn make sure you remind yourself often, as this is going to be a time of great stress (any pregnancy is wether you keep, or not)

Make sure to take prenatal vitamins, but other then that don't take anythign else unless a doctor says so.  I knwo I was never told to take vitamin d and other certain things liekt hat that outsiders told me to take, I did askt eh doctor about them and he told me they are unneccicary unless yoru body is lacking.  Heck I myself was unable to take prenatal vitamins with either pregnancy I had, as they made me extrememly ill, so I had to make sure i was eating certain foods (as discussed with my doctor)

As for what to eat, this is a time that your body will crave hard if you say you can't have it.  I know I was able to have things like pepsi once in a  while.  Just limit your caffiene intake to once in a while, replace your nomral caffiene drink with somethign free of it.  Like Tea or root beer/sprite.  Chocolate is also fine to eat in moderation.  Although if yo crave something sweet may I suggest fruit.  Melons are great for that, and better for you.

I hope you the best of luck and if you need ot talk to someone else who had a pregnancy young please do feel free to PM me.  I am here to talk andcan pretty much let you know how I dealt and things I encountered.

[Sunchaser]

*hugs tightly* im glad you are not thinking of abortion. For that you are extremly strong *hugs tighter* i wish you well lovey and if ever you need to rant im heree for ya.

[Pinkshadow]

Owwh sweet spitty <3

Congratz much, it's a hard decission you made and its amazing that you are able too
because it will get hard. You can always come and talk to if you need it dear <3
Have you told your parents?

[SplitX]

Yeah, they do. They're actually okay. I was worried about Dad reacting badly, but he's pretty okay. Sadly, he's acting like HE'S the one who's in charge... >___>; He's like 'Don't eat pancakes. Eat salads. Try tofu. Don't drink Sprite 'cause it has sugar, even though it doesn't have caffeine. You can't eat anything fatty at all. Eat less than you usually do." All this crap that, honestly, from what I've looked up, doesn't do any good. I read that I should eat 5-6 small meals a day instead of 3 big ones, and eat stuff that appeals to me, as long as I get good servings of each food group every day (though less of the fatty stuff. x3). I mean... why should I have to go vegan, especially when I'm pregnant? I eat a lot when I'm eating for one. Now for two? Psht. Heck if I'm eating vegan, especially less food. o___o
I mean... am I right, or wrong? >___>;

[PonyMama]

If you are not currently a vegan going such would put your already stressed system in more stress and could cause more issues, not help.  My inlaws tried that with me with my first (since they thought I was young and stupid and knew nothing) but I had to put a stop to it quickly.  sugars arent good for you in real life, but in moderation it can be fine, so that holds true for pregnancy too

[IvySpring]

Oh my goodness!! *hugs* I'm new here, and so I don't know you very well yet, but I understand the need for support when you're going through something this extreme. I don't know where your faith lies, but I'll be praying for you :] Being young and in that sort of situation is crazy hard- and I can empathise with why you're scared to tell your friends.

I've actually struggled with an eating disorder for the past 2 years, and my family I guess 'found out' this past month, and got me into see a therapist recently- and I've had to tell some of my closer friends so that they're able to help keep an eye on me while I'm away from my family in college. It's takes a lot of courage to tell people a big part of your life like that, and I understand where you're coming from- I was terrified to tell people, and even though my friends all ended up being very supportive about it, it's hard for them to understand what I'm going through. I just wanted to let you know that I know the feeling of being scared for the future and having the stress and anxiety of trying to deal with a huge issue in your life. You're lucky to have a supportive family, and I'm sure you can count on us here at Secundi for support/love anytime you need it! :]

[SplitX]

Thank you, all of you. <3

Thankfully, we're probably getting covered by insurance. Also... mom is taking me out for pancakes now. We're going to start a food chart so I can get all of my servings in daily & figure out what I need and/or don't need. n___n

But... yay pancakes!

[Silvanon]

*big hug*  Wow, first off let me say I'm so happy and impressed that you've decided to continue your pregnancy and allow your baby to be adopted.  Both of those are very brave and selfless choices, and I aplaude you for them.

I agree with Scullisto, "What to expect when your expecting" is awesome for walking you through pregnancy, I used it all through mine.  I also signed up for emails from babycenter.com - they send them weekly and tell you stuff like how big the baby is now and what changes you might notice that week, etc.  I really enjoyed getting those and found them helpful.

As far as what to eat and what not to, mostly you can stick to your normal diet.  You definitely should not ever drink any alchohol (one of my younger adopted brothers has fetal alchohol syndrom from his birth mom taking a drink during pregnancy, it has badly affected his life.  Don't drink!), and caffeine isn't good.  You shouldn't eat more than a little tuna or other fish/seafood that have mercury in then, and avoid deli meats and soft cheeses unless you've nuked them piping hot.  Likely your doctor already gave you literature that says all that, but if not, there it is.

You probably will or already have gone out and found an agency that you feel comfortable with for helping you in placing your baby with a family, but if you are looking for some help with that, here's one option:  My church runs a service that helps people with that, and they'll have a center local to you.  I've heard excellent reports about people's experiences with them.  If you're interested, here's the website: https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/ct/eng/site/pregnant/

I guess it has been a year and half already now since I was pregnant, but I do still remember a fair bit about it.  I was one of those unlucky 0.1% who had morning sickness my entire pregnancy, so I have lots of suggestions and advice on that if you end up needing it.  Feel free to ask if you have any questions.

I guess one more thing I'll say:  prenancy is demanding, and kind of scary, but it's also a wonderful and amazing and unique experience that can be lots of fun.

[PonyMama]

Thanks Sil, I never think to add no alcohol, as I assume it should be a no brainer, but I guess for some people it wouldn't be.  Although I am hoping at 17 Splitty doesn't drink.....right?!

Yes What to expect when youa re expecting can be a great book.  I checked with it through my first a lot too, not so much with the second as I too was one fo the lucky 0.1% who had sickness morning noon and night all 9 months.

[SplitX]

Thanks so much, Silv. n___n Sounds like awesome advice to me. Thankfully, I've never touched alcohol, and I've never had the desire to.
I don't know if I'm going crazy or not, but my stomach's been on and off upset for the past... week or so, I think, especially in the morning. I already feel pressure when I go to bend over and the like when I pick something up. Bleh. I dunno if it's just me being crazy or not, though.

[Silvanon]

Well, when I got pregnant at first I thought I had the flu.  Then it went on a little too long to be the flu, and I decided to take a test just to be sure, and guess what?  I was at about 6 weeks then, too.  So yes, you could be experiencing morning sickness already.  For the vast vast majority of people it doesn't last past the first trimester.  As far as pressure, the baby isn't big enough for that yet, but pregnancy does generally cause more gas then usual in a lot of women, so it could well be that.  ^^  And pregnancy really does make you far more aware of every little thing your body is doing, so that factors in too.

[SplitX]

Ohhhhh I just looked that up, and that's definitely it. I can hear my tummy rumbling & feel it, too. >___<: Meeeeeep. I can tell this is going to be a loooooong 9 or so months. o___o

[Ravvana]

Try tofu.

I'm no expert, but I've heard that a vegan diet (lots of tofu, etc) can actually be bad if your baby is a boy; it doesn't have the same nutrients as real meat, or something like that, so the baby doesn't get everything he needs. Don't listen to me though; go look it up if you care. I've just heard that somewhere XD

I've never been in a steady relationship (my horse is the primary guy in my life, sad as that sounds), so I can't say I know what you're going through, but I wish you the best and am totally here

[Lectral]

A friend of mine was just starting to go vegetarian a couple years ago (maybe vegan, I can't remember).  She was doing tons of research, everything right, the healthy way.  She found out she was pregnant, and after some careful thought and more research, she decided to go back to a traditional diet, as she wasn't completely sure she could give the baby proper nutrition as she was transitioning.  As far as I know, she hasn't gone back to trying the vegan diet yet, and Ruby is almost 2 XD

And she did mention something about tofu (and soy-based products in general) having a negative effect, if the baby is a boy, and since it's still so early, and you can't tell the gender yet, I would say better to be safe than sorry

[SplitX]

Oh good! I didn't honestly want to go vegan or vegeterian any way. >___> I explained things to my dad & he's backed off a bit. <3

[Kadana Sorano]

Splitty!  *cuddles and loves*  I got preg with my son a couple months before my 18th bday.  It was very.. awkward.. not the least of which because mom was preg too.  Anyway, I'm just saying, I've been there.. sort of.. and if you ever want to talk, I'll be here.  My pm box is always open to you, and if you want, you can have my IM info as well, just pm me and let me know you want it.

I'm glad your dad's backing off some, extra stress is certainly not something you need just now.  For me, I ate a salad nearly every day I was preg, when I was able.  And a LOT of fresh fish (when I say fresh, I mean fresh caught form the lake, cleaned and cooked right then).  It's pretty much all I craved, and I indulged as much as I was able.  I was thankful I didn't have some of the more odd cravings I've heard others have had.. also, I'd heard the old wives tail that fish is brain food.  So I figured I'd eat tons of it, and have myself a little Doogie Howser.  My son IS smart (if obnoxious) but whether that's from the fish or not is debatable lol

Also.. my mom (preg same time I was) was needing iron pills.  The doc i his brilliance gave them to me as well.  They made me sick.  I stopped taking them.  Everyone yelled at me "think of the baby!".  I was.. taking the pills, and sicking them back up was helping neither of us.. finally the doc tested me, and found unlike mom I had an over abundance of iron.. didn't need the pills.

My point, is that not everyone is the same.  Even if you come form the same bloodlines.  So if mom/dad get too obnoxious with their well meaning advice, maybe you can remind them of that.  Nicely of course, wouldn't want to get them mad at you :S

*bearhugs*  Again, if you need anything.. someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on etc, I'm here.

[red_uni387]

*squishes splitty tight* honestly I have no idea what to say for support and stuff, but I hope your baby comes out healthy and you guys find a loving home for him/her <333

[Solistia]

You poor thing! I'm glad you came to a decision with your boyfriend, and that your parents were accepting of your pregnancy. I think it may be a good idea to tell your friends before too long though. I know if my friend got pregnant, even young as you are, I would feel hurt that I wasn't trusted enough to tell until you only started to show :[ Maybe not tell, all your friends, but at least the ones you love the most :3 I think you'll find they'll be a great support!

Good luck with your pregnancy! Here's to hoping it all goes smoothly! =D

[SplitX]

I'm definitely going to tell my closest friends after a while. I just don't know how long it'll be before I feel comfortable & safe letting people know. After all, news does travel fast.

It's 2:09 am now. >____> I felt like I got a full night's sleep when I first woke up like 10 minutes ago to use the facility, then I realized that it wasn't 6 or 7 am, and it was 2 am. XD Needless to say, I'm wide awake, and feeling a little grumpy about it. =P
I'm thinking about keeping a little record here on Secundi on how every week is going for me. <3 Just posting it here, of course.

[indigowulf]

Yes, the book "what to expect when you're expecting" was the BEST thing a friend got for me when I was preggers.

Dietwise, do NOT avoid all sugars. Simply put, you need a certain amount of sugar to survive, and so does baby. Granted, you dont have to get the sugar from junk, but some sugar is not a bad thing. I will say, avoid all sugar-free and "diet" stuff. Those are all made with stuff that's been proven harmfull.

Lets see. Dont forget to excersize. Start putting cocoa butter on your stretchy area at 3 months and dont stop until you pop. You may not be stretchy yet at 3 months but trust me, if you wait til you start stretching to start softening, it will be too late to prevent. (I waited. I have the nasty stretch marks to prove it)

Like Kadana said, trust your body. If something is making you sick, get rid of it. If it was doc perscribed, tell doc its making you sick. It could just be a dye or something, so they need to know. You may find yourself allergic to things you never were before, sensative to food color, fragrance, and anything random baby decides you dont like today.

Prenatals are SUCH a nice thing. I still use them from time to time, whenever Im feeling wore out. (my son was born in '97)

[SplitX]

Thanks so much for the advice! I'm going to go see if I can buy that book today. n__n

-eyes tummy- ... I always like chocolate & cake. Don't forget that. >.>

[Kadana Sorano]

hehe goodluck with that.  I grew up living off of coffee.  But from the start, my son decided I wasn't allowed to have it.  I couldn't even smell it brewing without getting ill.  Worse, after he was born, I went to have a nice cup of coffee.. and got sick.  it took me years till I could drink it again without feeling queasy.. and then I have to get the expensive flavored kind.

Dang brat.

[SplitX]

o___o I will be very upset if my child does the same thing with aaaany food I like. I'm a particularly picky eater, too. XD

[SplitX]

>___> Day 2 (since I've known)
I'm eating this strange applesauce that tastes like strawberry jelly. Now I have the crazy urge for pancakes & toast with strawberry jelly. 1 more hour until I can come home from this 'school.' ... ... Wish me luck.

xD

[Calomel]

Oh my, I'm late to this thread, but CONGRATULATIONS!

I know the circumstances aren't perfect, but you sound like you're being extremely responsible and rational. You also have a loving, supportive family that's willing to help you through it. I'm very impressed with you, Splitty. I'm sure that your baby is going to be super-healthy and everything will turn out okay.

*HUGE hug*

[SplitX]

-blushes and feels loved-
All I really want is a healthy baby & for it to be as easy as it can be. I know being pregnant & having a baby isn't easy, but... I don't want it to be complicated. >_< I just want it to all turn out okay. <3

[indigowulf]

Oh. If you get the epideral, and you watch the doc poke you in the toe with a needle.. just remember this.. just because you logicaly know that being poked should hurt, and the drugs are messing with your mind, dont say "well of course it hurts" on reflex when he asks. Make sure it actually hurts lol.

I did that. I was loopydoo on the drugs. He poked my toe, I watched the needle touch my foot. He asked me if it hurt. My brain told me that of course a needle in the toe hurt, so that's what I said. In fact, I felt nothing.

Being told it still hurt, they turned UP my drugs. I actully stopped having contractions for nearly 30 minutes before they realized what they had done. I just sat there staring at the ceiling, seeing the rainbow ducks play drums. Or whatever it was my wacky mind saw.

I do remember, a family membe would be at the bedside, and Id be talking to them. Id blink, and they would be gone, and someone else would be sitting in a chair.. it was like I had huge time-warp blinks, cuz Id go unconsciouse for a few moments every time I closed my eyes.

Turned out ok in the end, so its just a funny story now.

[Kadana Sorano]

on the flip side of that.. I gave birth "naturally".  I am paranoid about well.. everything heh and I was terrified to put drugs in my body before my son was born.  Didn't want them getting to him, before he got out..  That, and I'm scared of needles, and plain terrified of IV's.  The nurse tried telling me I HAD to have an IV, by law, as it was my first child and they didn't know what complications may arise.  I told my Doctor that if he tried to put the iv in me I;d go home and have the baby in the woods by myself.  He decided to compromise, leave the iv by the bed, in case its needed, but not use it unless absolutely nessasary.

In the end, my son was turned "sunny side up" and was pushing my tail bone out of place.  They finally brought me a "whistle"  .  A tube vaguely whistle shaped thing, with something akin to laughing gas inside.  Told me to breathe in through my mouth, out my nose.  I got it backwards.. and my sons dad got the benefit of it instead of me lol

I'm very lucky, my labor lasted 5 hours, that's it (moms usually last a min of 24) so yes, very lucky indeed.. If it would have been longer, I dunno if I could have made it without caving in and accepting drugs.  I have a really high pain thresh hold, and am stubborn as hell, or I never would have made it as it was.

[SplitX]

Lol awesome stories. XD Those seriously made my morning.

Okay so... My school is the ONLY one open. Instead of going 3 hours, she wants me there for 5, when every other school is out for snow. =/ So I told Dad there was no way I was going that long. I have to be off my ADD medicine, so sitting in a room for 3 hours straight, doing nothing but completely assigned tasks is just impossible for me. My ADD is very severe. So then Dad says, "Just because all you do is sit on the computer instead of going out like a normal human being, it doesn't mean that you don't have to fulfill your obligations."
Woah. Excuse me? I'm not allowed to tell ANYONE in my life yet. If I could tell my friends, I'd be out and about! Hell, I'd love to be doing that. I knoooow my friends would support me. Anyone else could just go jump off a bridge. It's not like no one else does bad stuff... The difference is just that I'm one of the ones who got pregnant from it. >___>;
But any way. It's awkward for me to be out & about when I feel like I have to hide who I am and what's going on in my life. My good friends, I trust. I know they'd support me. Heck. I had a scare before & they were all excited and planning on how to help me through it all and everything. But I don't like going out right now. I'm still in shock! I don't understand how that makes me such a bad person... ;___;

[YourLoveOnly]

*hugs splitty* You are not a bad person.
And places like Secundi can be distracting so you can forget everything, but you can also find great support here. It's nice to have a place like this, something that's always there.

[SplitX]

Thanks YLO... <3

I told my Dad openly that I just need friends right now, and maybe my old school would be better, he said "Well you didn't even have any friends at your old school." What. the. hell. ;_____; I had TONS of friends. Everyone loved me. I was crazy & just everyone's friend. Sure I wasn't popular, but everyone liked me well enough. T____T

I feel like crawling in a hole & dying...

[YourLoveOnly]

Your dad probably thinks that because he's your dad he knows best >_>
That can be really annoying, especially if you're just looking for support and all he does is tell you your wrong about everything T__T

[SplitX]

Yeah it is... I just don't like how they keep making me feel like a total screw up. Yes, I messed up, but at least I'm keeping the baby & being responsible for my actions...

[Calomel]

Poor Splitty. It sounds like your dad is really freaking out, and trying VERY hard to make it not obvious. Your dad LOVES YOU. He wants to protect you, to do what's best for you, and maybe he just doesn't know how or exactly *what* is best. ^_^

Maybe he didn't know or doesn't remember you had any friends at your old school, and he's honestly confused. My husband tends to do that. Don't feel bad, he's just trying to do what's right and be supportive for his little girl. He'd probably feel a lot better if you gave him a hug and told him thanks for trying.

As for the ADD, if you start multitasking, does that help to keep it all under control? If so, take a few things with you to class, or work on multiple subjects at once. I'm pretty sure that if I was in the school system right now, I'd be labeled ADD. I'm not, I just multitask well and get bored with droning instructors. I used to read in class, draw, do other classes' homework, anything to keep my mind occupied.

[SplitX]

I'm not allowed to multitask. I have a nasty intructor who tells me what to do & when to do it. Not only that, but she has AWFUL breath that she's never even rtied to fix. .-. It's just... unpleasant. Myeh...

I know he's trying to protect me, but I don't need yelling, and I don't need to feel like an unloved freak. ;_;