How to get on from a loss of best friend, when i dont want to .

[Pinkshadow]

Okay, i will start saying im really bad at writing a loong post so i might jump over where its the lowest some places, if you know what i mean.

But but but , heres my issue .

I will start by saying this :
- I don't always feel very welcome here eighter, but i just don't know where else to put this, without friends seeing it.
And no i actually don't, lots of the time in here i think people really don't like me, and i can't put other words on why than ; 'I have really low self-essteem'..

However that wasnt my point .

My Story:
We have easter in Denmark too, witch ofc means lots of holidays and i was supposed to see my best friend in the holiday, but one day i stopped hearing from her (one day = 1st April). At first i thought it was some lame joke because of the date, but i didnt hear from her friday eighter, so i started being sbit worried, and saturday around noon her parents called me on my cell and told me she had died in a car accident.
Lucky for us, this was a minor crash so it isnt blown up in the media, and we are able to suffer without cameras on us, now my parents was never fond of her, so they dont quite get me, and certainly dosnt understand why i wanna help arrange her funeral, but the truth is i have never experienced this so close to me before, unless i would count my grandpa, witch i don't because it was his turn and i didnt get told before after his funeral was held.
Anyway, i have never tried loosing a friend like that, and she was my very best friend, always there for me, helping, laughting, crying, doing everything with me and now i just dont know how to get further in my life, everything seems so dark and shes always in my mind and centered there, so i have lots of trouble concentrating on other people and being social in all.
This has let me to escape in the twilight books univers or keeping my self occupied by talking with her family around arranging her furnual or just sleepin, i have NO idear on how to get passed this.

I feel pain every 24 hours of a day, i even have nightmares.

The only idea i can come too and that i am certain off doing sometime, is getting some mimic of her so i can have a memory of her in here too, but else then that i just feels lost :/

So my questions is ;
- How do i get over this?
- How do i deal with the pain?
- Do you have any idea on how to balance this?
- Should i help arranging her furnual

And my last one ;
- Is there a person their draw/paint good their will help me traslate the way i saw her into a mimic sometime?

[Ryuukokoro]

I'm so sorry for your loss. That's all I can say.

[red_uni387]

I don't ever feel completely welcome either, for me it's cause I think I act like a brat most of the time. But you're always really nice and you shouldn't feel like that, and I'm sure everyone loves you <3

It's always a a horrible experience to loose someone close to you, and I do hope your friend is in a better place now. Unfortunately I don't know of any way to get over something like this quickly, or a way to ease the pain. When we lost my dad's cat, I cried for two days and still begin crying when I remember him. Holding it in isn't going to help at all, though, so just let it all out. It will hurt so much more if you hold all your emotions in. Remember all the good times you had with her though, and how much fun you guys had together. You are her best friend as well; she's not just your best friend. I think you should help with her funeral, it would be your last gift to her, and you can make it the best gift as well. *squishes tight*

[Pinkshadow]

Ryuu - Many thanks <3

Red - i don't think you act like a brat dear <3 likes you much and many many thanks <3

[Lookky]

oh god... I'm so sorry :|
I don't really know how you feel, I've never experienced something like this .. But I try to imagine how it feels, and I don't like the feelings it gives me :|
*lots of feelings revolve in that sentence*


You should make a tribute for her or something,
I believe that she knows how you feel,
and that she wants you to remind her..
that's all you can do, I think..
but it's one of the most important things you can do!
other than that,
I think it would help you 2 .. :|
In that way you will always be close to her,
and it should help you .. (I think .. )

Anyways, I'm shure everybody here will support you in any way,
you shouldn't be afraid you're unwanted or something .. *huggles*

I hope I have been of any help for you ...

-Lookky-

[TheLeet]

I'm so sorry *hugs*

I have a bit of experience with grief but I've never had anyone that close to me die unexpectedly. The one and only thing that comforts me when I'm grieving for the loss of a loved one is to know that it'll get better. You're feeling completely devastated and in pain now and you might feel like it'll go on forever but it won't. You'll feel a little less pain every day and you'll spend less time thinking about it every day. In a couple of months you'll be able to get on with your life - you'll still think about her often but not every minute of every day. In a couple of years you might be able to actually think about her without feeling pain.

Help arrange the funeral if you want to and don't worry about getting past this. The pain will pass on its own - you just have to accept it for now because it will take time.

[Scullisto]

I am so sorry for your loss...*hugs*

First off I have to say you have to allow yourself to grieve. Its ok.
You have every right to feel the way you do...as you work through your grief, the pain will become less and less.  Dealing with the pain is a personal choice, it can be through art, poetry, exercise, reading, prayer, meditation...whatever activity you feel comfortable in facing this horrible reality, but dont be afraid to face it. This is gonna take time.

Celebrate your friends life, so you can continue yours.

I honestly know what you are going through, I lost my mother when I was 15, my dog, horse and a good friend when I was 16. It was a year from hell. ( I know the animals may seem silly but they were my lifeline when I lost my mum)

*hugs*

[Poupou]

I am so sorry for your loss, Pink.  *Hugs*

I really don't know what to say, but I think Scullisto has great suggestions.

[BabyKittenCandy]

Im very very sorry for your loss Pink.

All I can really add to what has been said before is to do what you feel is right. If that means wanting to help organise her funeral, then do so, regardless of what your parents may think. It might be a way that will help you deal with this terrible loss and grieve for her.

Pm box is always open dear

*hugs*

[springacres]

I am very, very sorry to hear of your loss, Pink.  And I'm with BKC on this one; everyone grieves differently, and if helping organize your friend's funeral helps you to deal with the pain of losing her so suddenly, then by all means do so.

Funerals can be very healing; they are a time for groups of people to get together and share both the grief of loss and the memories their loved one left behind.  Obviously this was a person you cared about deeply, and you feel it's important to be a part of planning her funeral.  And you're probably right, because planning that service will bring you into contact with others who knew and loved her and are missing her presence too.

*major major hugs*

[Pinkshadow]

Many many thanks for your support all of you, that means a great deal to me .

I'm really low at the moment and im so glad i live alone so my parents dont see me this way, but its also sad when you dont have tons of friends. I actually only have a VERY few friends because i dont like the whole idea with having 500 of them, because i dont see it as real friendship, and now im down after loosing the girl i always could count on .

I decided that i would help arranging and its going quite well, and to help myself grieving i framed a beautiful picture of her, and set 2 candles beside it, and i light them every night at this moment and look at her and prays, it really does help to "talk" to her.

But to get it better online i have to find a way to translate her personality and such into a mimic of her, will be hard but dooable <3

Anyway, Very much thanks for all your support, posts and offers on writing if i need someone to listen <3 It's so kind of you all and much more then i expected and hoped for Because i know i can be am annoying person and i knor i may come across to others as disrespectful sometimes, but i do have English as second language and sometimes i translate my words wrong :/ And im so sorry for that <3

[Zephyr]

*hugs* I am sorry for your loss. When my Papa died, I struggled with grief and the empty space he left behind; and yea, I collected memorial mimics of him to remember and honor his memory.

It's cliche but it takes time, and a determination to see through to a happier time. I know Papa didn't want me to suffer, so I tried to remember him as best I could, and to look for the bright moments and savor them. He was always happiest when he could see those he loved, happy.

Let me know when you come up with a mimic design, I might be able to help you memorialise your friend.

[Pinkshadow]

Thanks so much zephyr, thats really sweet of you I will pm you

And i will say , since we got the puppy , i have gotten alot better and alittle bit happier