Garney is lost

[Garney]

I've been in a bad place, terrible medical things. That pales in comparison to what Silv is going through. Such a bad place I hadn't done any artwork since July, not a single doodle. My life feels empty and unfulfilled without art. And I just felt... compelled last night to come back here.

I want to do something, but honestly my style now is probably quite different. And looking at what I used to do, I'm so lost for how to even get back into anything. I want to try though, something small and slow, baby steps. I don't know where to begin.


This is something I did yesterday, just to show my style now. Most of what I've tried to draw during my dry spell has been horses and people, but I'm incredibly shaky about my style, and terribly down on myself. I don't know what to do, where to go... no confidence, no direction.

I think maybe I'll try to make a new gidget? I don't remember how all of the agency stuff works though. And I was the one who wrote the help guide? Oh that's funny.

[Sunchaser]

Welcome back Garney. I know many of us have gone through hard times i hope you will see that people of secundi are here for everyone. I am learning that not only are we a art site we are a support site to. So if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me or anyone else I know there are many that will lend a ear. And when it comes to medicial stuff a lot of us know what you are going through or know about it.

As for your art, start small. maybe try revamping your faes or fishies if you want or just start somewhere new. If something comes up and you need to leave again, give us a heads up please we don't mind waiting but we do worry when someone dissapears on us.

[Kahlira]

Welcome back Garney! Agreeing with Sunny here, start small.

Personaly I love that horse there, but then again I'm a huge fan of draft breeds.

[Midnight Phantom]

Nice to see you again. Also agreeing with sunny, a heads up and just to start small ^.^   Not dive into something that will overwhelm you.

[Garney]

Yes, something small. Nothing new, no brand new big thing, a revamp would be too big, some kind of...

Ugh, I don't even know the 'rules' for gidgets. I seem to be pretty intent on gidgets XD

[Ember]

Starting small seems like a good idea, Garney. Since you're so intent on gidgets, why not draw/colour a few up and try an event or something for them? You can experiment with rules as you go along - I think most of the secundi community wouldn't mind helping you re-figure them out.

[Ryuukokoro]

Hey Garney!!! It's great to see you again! I agree with Sunny, this site has been a lot of support for me and other people too, over the years. We're a closer community than some of the big places because we're so small and we all get to know each other, and when someone disappears here it has a bigger impact than if someone disappears from a bigger community.

I think it would be good to start small and to maybe also post a thread to see if you owe anything to anyone from the last time you were here? A lot of people do that when they come back from a long hiatus.

[Gidgets]

I think I've forgotten how to do lines.

[SPO]

Hi Garney! Nice to see you here on Secundi. I remember you from waaay back when on PI. I like the horse you did. I think baby steps are the best way to get it done. You know we are all a big welcoming community here and won't be intent on pressuring you to do smething you aren't comfortable with.

Have faith in your own abilities cause all of us do.

[Gidgets]

Allo *shy*

Does anyone remember how this used to work? Sixth version of the gidget lineart and I can only barely remember that there used to be plains, fancies, shows? Okay, I don't really remember.

Have a gray one. XD

[SGA]

Welcome back Garney!

The draft you have up there is really beautiful!  I love the shading/highlighting on it, it makes it look soft, and velvety.  Like you can reach out and touch it, and feel warm velvety fur against your hand.  And I love the way the Gidget is posing there!

I don't really remember there being too many rules as such for them as such, the way the agency is set up.  We can trade, or breed as we like, without any involvement from any staff.  I think the only rules I remember, were for individual events you ran, and they were rules specific to the current event not for the shop as a whole.  Gidgets really were always very easy to follow.

[SGA]

Yea, whenever you released a new version, there were different groupings.  Naturals, Fancy, Show, and sometimes odd extra categories you thought of.  One release you had a Holiday category i think, and a few others.. and had us color them in a competition to be voted on.

[DawnStar7]

OMG, Garney, welcome back!  It's so very good to see you again, dear.  I disappeared, from secundi and PI, for many reasons, including major medical issues.  I've only recently come back myself, last summer-ish.  I agree with everyone else, start small and easy, and don't worry about the big stuff.  Just take it one day and one step at a time, and eventually you'll reach your destination, whatever it may be. 

I must say, that horse is drop dead gorgeous!  If that is an example of your new style, I highly approve!  Don't know much about Gidgets myself, other than they're cute and I want more.  :3

[springacres]

Welcome back, Garney!  I've been wondering what had happened to you.  So glad to know you're still alive, around, and feeling artsy again.  Definitely start small; maybe even just commissions for now.

*warm welcome back hug*

[springacres]

As for the gidgets, I'm a bit out of the loop there myself, but I *thiiiink* the plain ones were the ones without horns or manes (backfins?), the fancies and shows typically had horns or manes/fins and were the ones only given out through special events and such.  It's been so long though that I don't remember either.

I DO remember the CYO event you held that one time, however, where we got to color our own Gidgets but also had to describe how we "bred" that variety. That was a fun challenge!

[Garney]

I talked to my daughter and she's going to try and 'manage' me. You see, as part of my medical condition I have a really, REALLY hard time remembering and organizing things. For any of you who worked with me before, it's ten times worse now. However, Alex hasn't done anything with the adoptable scene before. So mostly we're going to watch events going on now, see how things are done, so she can get ideas about running more complicated events.

We looked through my things because I've also had a computer die during this time period, and I was switching from PSP7 to Photoshop when I stopped doing art, and that was a lot of my frustration - learning a new program. But now I'm more confident with it.

So our decisions:

- Gidgets will see regular, nicely spaced updates, and will probably be the biggest testing ground for Alex to learn events.

- Airfish stay the way they are. We checked and all of the basic files are in place to work on those. Breeding might change because as we went through it, she was getting confused, so she'll work out something she can organize. Baubles will still be useful, this is more how things work on our end.

- FaeKind are going to get overhauled, slowly, in the background, with all new art. Old ones are of course still loved and welcomed, but I can't work with those lines. If I'm not working on things I like, I'm going to get miserable and stressed.

- TheKennel will come back AFTER I am on my feet and feeling good about myself again. It might involve an art update or just new breeds, Alex and I honestly aren't ready to tackle something that big ourselves yet. It will come back small and it might be frustrating for everyone, I get that, but I have to watch my stress level. Stress makes me worse, and I can't work on anything if I'm in bed.

Now, Alex wants a little help with what events she should be looking at the most. Do current people have adopties that need breeding or is there a need for a lot of sales and games first?

[springacres]

Gidgets are probably a good place for Alex to start learning and for you to work on coming back to, then.  The breeding is automated, and I believe the only time we ever had thread events was for new lines or fancy and show gidgets in any case.

And speaking for myself... much as I'd love to see TheKennel and FaeKind return, I can wait till you and Alex get comfortable with the small stuff and feel ready for it again.  Your health and comfort is more important than our pixel critters.

[Kahlira]

Faekind coming back seriously will make me squee.

But for everything, take your time, don't rush things. Let it come at it's own pace.

[YourLoveOnly]

Welcome back! I think a lot of old Fae breedings from a breeding thread are still not completed. For TheKennel, maybe revive the old CYO breeding thing? It would only require you to import or hire someone to import. I remember plain gidgets had real horse colorations as well as no mane or fins. I think that's all.. And yay Faekind

[Sunchaser]

I would suggest maybe hireing some staff to help you out or even just some temp staff to help you figure out whats owed or even just help you with ideas.

As for Fae coming back... YAY <.< >.>

[Gidgets]

That very idea... just makes me more intimidated, stressed and confused o_o

[Sunchaser]

which idea?

[Gidgets]

Working with someone else... having to remember all the... the... see, my brain spitzed out just thinking about it.

And the mere mention of a Kennel event gave me a serious panic attack...

maybe I'm not okay enough for any of this

[Tarakona Ormr]

well why not instead of running a adopt you just follow some for now?

[Ryuukokoro]

I like Sunchaser's idea. If just the mention of running an adoptable event gives you that much of a negative emotional reaction, it might be better just to participate in other shops for a while. Why do something if it upsets you that much? Doesn't make sense to run a shop right away if it's going to make you miserable. You could always practice your art on your own in the meantime, that way you feel more comfortable with your art when you're ready to do your own events.

You could always offer to do some guest coloring for other shops to get back into the habit of coloring, as well. That way there's no pressure on you to run an event on your own.


(I do remember the event YLO mentioned, and I don't think it ever got finished. I'm pretty sure I was one of the people who was waiting for a Fae baby to be born, though it was a few years ago now. But I would love to see those Fae babies come home to their parents someday!)

[Midnight Phantom]

Gidget is a good training ground to start on. Do what makes you feel comfortable, if getting other people to help doesn't make you feel comfortable then don't doit and leave the kennel for a later...maybe a long time later until you feel more at ease(if you ever do o.o things can be hard to change).

I will say that I squee as well at the thought of faequine returning XD yay rp adoptable!.

Still you're just returning ...just trying to get back into art as well o.o use Gidgets as a starting point for both you and your daughter and see how it goes from there before dealing with the others(if ever x.x ).  Also remember...small slots or small events something that won't make you worried or stressed and is easy to manage. ^.^;

[springacres]

Garney, knowing this community, I think it's safe to say that ANY form of participation you feel up to would be welcomed, even if it's just following one of the smaller adoptables and participating in dice rolling or pick-a-door events.

Just... try not to vanish again, because I for one missed you.  <3

[Silvanon]

I just totally need to say:  GARNEY!!!  *fluffs* 

It's really awesome to see you here again.  ^____^