What's going on in my world...

[Neocridders]

So, it's a long story. I am sure I've mentioned how my semester started off.
Well, yeah. I've basically had a really bad semester. I've been miserable. Something bad happened the moment I got here, and all I know how to feel anymore is miserable.

That's a big part of why I've been gone. That, and I've just had no time to think. And I'm sorry about that, guys.

Well, a bit over a week ago I had the worst break down of them all. It was very bad. I felt like the end was coming (which is really scary). I wasn't ok at all. I was terribly miserable.

Anyway, I told my mom about my lack of sleep and stuff (I don't think I told her everything that was going on...) and she told me to go to the health center for anxiety and depression. Apparently depression runs on both sides of my family. Good to know.

I went to the health center and the doctor gave me some medicine. It's made me much less sad, but now I'm bouncing off the walls. I might need to tell her about my ADHD. I'd told her already, but I'll mention it again.

Anyway, that's a bit of what's going on in my life. I'm going home next Friday (after seeing the Hobbit! Woot!) and I'll be there for 3 weeks. That may be good or bad, since being home makes me remember when I wasn't sad and that I'm still sad and stuff, but maybe it'll be ok. I've got this medicine now so fingers crossed.

Hope everyone is ok. Sorry I don't poke my head in more often. Life's been ... you know. Crazy.

[YourLoveOnly]

-hugs for Neo- I do wanna mention something important, medicine is never the answer. It can be a way to help, but just meds doesn't solve any issues, it just hides them. You should follow therapy and possibly use meds to support you with that, but just the meds alone won't do any good. Most meds to deal with things like depression are very heavy and not meant to be taken a lifetime, when you think you're doing better and get taken off the meds without having had any therapy it usually just comes back full force.

I hope you can enjoy your holiday <3

[TheLeet]

It's always good hearing from you, Neo. <3

I don't really know about the whole meds things as I've never been prescribed antidepressants (only horrible sedatives for my anxiety >.<) but as far as I know they can be a useful tool to help you make the changes you need to make to happiness again. I wish you all the best.

[Sunchaser]

You know I love you neo I have the gryphions going strong and can't wait till you get back on your feet. *snugs*

[Pinkshadow]

Oow Neo.

Always a delight to hear from you, glad you're getting better and all <3
- Depression is a super hard thing to go through, but it's good your getting the help and support that you need <3

Wishes you all the best.

[Daimas]

Hugs neo* With ADHD and Bipolar 2 depressed, I know the whole bouncing off the walls with meds. I am so sorry for you hun. the same thing with the lowness and feeling the end is coming has happened to me too, my best awnser is find some great friends that you can go to for support.
The mdes will help you from feeling too down, but yes see if they can give you a mood stabilizer instead of a straight anti-depressant. Enjoy your time with your family and get some YOU time in there too.You deserve pampering.

[springacres]

-hugs neo- I struggle with mental health issues myself so I kinda know what you're going through.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the exact right combination of meds that will work for you, but YLO is right too - medication should be a part of your treatment regimen but not the whole of it.  Talk therapy and exercise really help too.

And this season of the year seems to exacerbate mental health issues, because of reduced sunlight and stuff like that.  Hang in there, it DOES get better. <3

[skysnolimit]

Hi Neo, I think I know what you mean, when I was young I always felt like I had so much love and support around me I never needed to really worry or stress about anything, and I knew that everything would turn out all right for me in the end.  The first year of college stayed okay for me, too, but after that everything took a turn for the worse and I didn't eat or sleep right, I got health problems like dizziness and feeling like it was hard to breathe and my stomach/intestines/whatever-else-is-in-there would start shuddering so bad that I couldn't even force smiles because all of my physical energy was focused on that.

And when I tried going to the campus doctor she just gave me some vertigo pills for the dizziness (which I didn't take, because that obviously wasn't the root problem) and when I went to other people for support they just told me to work harder and I'd get through it.

That wasn't the answer, though.  I needed some love, and at the very least to take a break.  Breaks in sunshine, with people you love, in particular are the best.

I took a year off from school after sophomore year, but even throughout that year I knew I would have to go back and graduate sometime.

All I can say is that you need to find a way to love yourself and find the people who will love you too.  We aren't meant to be lonely, regardless what the ideal of a "college work ethic" might tell you.  Some things (like family and friends) are more important than accomplishments and grades, and getting a solid community can even do more to insure your future than the grades can.

Relax and please don't push yourself too hard, love.  The feeling of security comes back after the worst trials are over.  This will be a learning experience for you, and allow you to be empathetic with others who are suffering if you ever meet them in the future--but this isn't the end or meaning of your life, it's just a lot of pain that you have to trust that you will overcome.

Please don't lose hope =)