Need hugs(Personal post)

[Sunchaser]

Gah okay where to start... As most of you probally know im over weight. I am currently 370 pounds. Well on reason im so big is cause of the fact that when i was younger i was raped. Ever since then eating and being big was my defense agianst any other guys or anyone else for that matter.

Then i met Marshall. I have actually started taking care of myself and eating healthier for him, not always healthy cause when he is gone its hard for me to cook for myself cause i just dont feel like it most of the time. Well this last week ive felt great. Now ive had problems cause of my cancer and one of them involves Synthroid problems. What i have is hypo thyroid i believe, And if im correct im producing more thingies then my body needs which should make me more tired and sleepy and all this stuff.

Well when i actually met marshall was about the time i ran out of one my pills for the thyroid and so i just stoped taking them all together. Now i admit except for this past month i was feeling more tired hten normal and i would tire easily. This past week/month ive been pretty active with getting the house cleaned and what not.

I even got my doctors appointments in order and went to my first one then got my blood drawn. My levels for my thyriod are high which means i should feel like crap. Crazily enough i dont but i have started taking my pills agian and have a prescription being written out that im waiting to get signed so i can get the other half of those pills.

My other problem that i just found out which brings up the overweight part is im close to becoming diabetic. I never really thought of diabetties cause of the fact that its not im my family history period. But then i guess neither was cancer. The reason im posting this here is cause of the fact i need prayers, i need happy thoughts and i needed a place to vent.

Yesterday sucked with everything that happened except for beign on secundi. Then today when i got the phone call i basicly burst out crying. I miss my husband even though i only have 8 more days to wait and i am going to start seeing if i can find a friend here to go tht eh gym wtih me for at least a hour a day so i can start losing weight.

Please keep me in your thoughts and if i dont always show up its probally cause ill be trying to figure out how to lose more weight. i know ive already lost some cause im down to about two pairs of pants that i can actually wear withotu a belt. So yeah thats my story and yeah...

[YourLoveOnly]

*gives Sunny many hugs*

[Kahlira]

*hugstight*

My sweet Sunny <3

You are always in my thoughts. As well as good wishes <3

[Rosewood]

*hugs*

I'll pray for you. Hope you get everything worked out.

[SeaCrest]

*tackleglomphugs*

[Sunchaser]

Thank you all *snugs* ive been working on chims and listening to itunes while talking to Kah adn others in the Livestream its helping. Also juts got a email from hubby which means a hell of a lot right now.

[springacres]

*super squishy hugs*  You are an incredibly strong person to have survived two major traumatic experiences at such a young age.  I know you will make it through this one as well.  Perhaps you could look into some martial arts or self-defense classes for women in your area, or see if there's a support group for women who have been through similar experiences to yours?

[toffeeca]

*snuggles* I'm always here if you need someone to talk Sunny. You will be in my thoughts. *luffs on Sunny*

[Silvanon]

*hugs for Sunny* 

I started my first-ever serious weight loss effort this week, we can be diet buddies.

[zarzamora]

don't rush it hunny- do it sensibly. we should totally start a diet club, ive put a ton of weight on recently and need tog et it off for the shows this summer.

[Kadana Sorano]

*snugs Sunny*I'm here as well, if you wanna talk huni, I'm on yahoo as well, just set to appear offline, so ignore that if you wanna poke me there.

[Sunchaser]

im not great at diets i will say that, but i do agree with getting healthier. Ive been working on bring in more veggies into me and hubbies diet when i realized we dont really eat any greens but salad. I like trying new things of course, and if we could start a diet club that would be great, a place where we could share recipies and things that have helped with losing weight.

*snugs all*

Thanks Kadana. Ill probally be poking random people threw messengers when i get really down in the dumps. A good part is hubby sent me a email and its only 7 more days till i see him.

[Scullisto]

*hugs* Luv you honey...I know exactly how you feel.  I wish I was closer I would so do this with you.

*hugs*

[CrystalAngelNeko]

Awww Sun, you'll be in my thoughts ^.~

And a little tip for dieting... you know what helps big time? if you cut out soda from your diet. Soda, fruity drinks, Gatorade, all that, and just start drinking water. It cuts out at least 1000 calories a day (if not more) And it really helped me loose some weight *nods* maybe it will help you? ^.^

[Sunchaser]

I actually have only had one soda this past week. And i could have had it today but ended up getting water with dinner when i went out wiht my sister. Fortunatly i love hte taste of water usually and can turn to that instead of sodas especailly if i dont have any sodas in the house.

[springacres]

Good for you Sunny!  If you do find yourself wanting something sweet to drink, I recommend flavored water which has far fewer calories than soda.  (I buy Aquafina FlavorSplash, which is sweetened with sucralose, since I find aspartame to be a little too sweet for my taste.)

I also find that chewing gum helps if I start craving something sweet.

[Sunchaser]

I will admit i binged today. I had a couple of sweets while at the ren fair. However the reason i did that was cause of the fact im going to stop taking so much sweets in even though i dont know where my sugar could be coming from except from McDonalds which i had basicly for a week straight which isnt smart for anyone.

I did walk a lot today though at the fair, and ihad a blast. 6 more days till hubby.... how in teh world am i going to tell him <.<

[springacres]

I'm sure you'll find a way to tell him, Sunny.   But what I would suggest is just to tell him what the doctor told you - that you are at risk for developing diabetes and you're trying hard to lose weight to reduce that risk.

Also, you may want to ask your doctor for a referral to see a dietitian, because it's not just the sweet-tasting foods that have sugars in them (though obviously they have the most sugars) and a dietitian or nutritional specialist can give you a better idea of what foods to try to cut back on.  (I have a family history of type 2 diabetes on my mother's side, so I know a *little* bit about it, but not nearly as much as a trained health professional would.)

[Silvanon]

As far as simple loosing of weight via diet changes, I've started realizing it has a whole lot to do with calories more than simply "sugar" like I always sort of thought.  I've tried ditching all sugary treats before, and I didn't loose weight, and without results I soon gave up on it.  Since I've started calorie counting I am loosing weight, though, and I feel like I can keep this up.  I didn't think I could keep it up at first, because I thought I'd have to jump to a drastically lesser calorie diet, but then I realized it's actually counter productive to do that since it dives your body into "I'm starving, better save everything!" mode.  Basically to stay out of "starvation mode" you want to eat so that you'll loose no more than a pound a week.

This calculator really helped me figure out what I should be aiming for: http://nutrition.about.com/od/changeyourdiet/a/calguide.htm

I'm keeping a spreadsheet open on my computer and I record what I eat and how many calories it is, and I've got a cell set up to calculate how many calories I have left for the day.  Most everything comes with calorie info on the packaging so that makes it easier to figure out what numbers to record.

[Sunchaser]

Awsome silv! i will check it out. I know i probally wont really start trying to lose weight till the 15th only cause i have groceies that might not neccisarly be the best things though they are more healthy then other things ive done in the past. Id toss them out and get new stuff but i just dont have the money for that since all your stuff is going to our savings for our honeymoon. Im right now looking for a treadmill that might go after once hubby is gone cause if he is not here, it kinda sucks to go out walking around the neighborhood by yourself. For me though i just... i have always been self concious except really when he or my family is about and they are just far enough away that it woudl be a hassle for them to come work out with me a hour a day.

I have a friend who is also working out though and she is on base though i havnt talked to her yet cause she has had some things going on with her kid and what not so im proballly going to talk to her about what she is doing as well.

[BabyKittenCandy]

My messenger is always open to Secundi peeps if they need to chat, you can find me on yahoo under baby_kitten_candy if you wanna talk (goes for any Secundi peep, just let me know in the add friend blurb who you are!)

[jojo]

Something that I do to try and keep my metabolism up and burn some calories is to do some yoga. I'm not a yoga expert by any means at all and I'm definitely not super flexible or anything, but I got this fat-burning yoga DVD from my friend a while ago and I yoga to it a couple times a week in the mornings. It seems like yoga is just a bunch of stretching, but it actually makes me break a sweat XD Yoga is easy to do indoors, so I really like that too

Just a suggestion XD I have no idea about how good yoga actually is for you, so you might want to research that.

I also walk a LOT (uni life.. oi), which sounds like you're doing already. Maybe you could add another activity with walking to make it more interesting? For example, you could take a sketchbook with you and walk to a place to practice drawing the scenery, something like that?

Best of luck Sunny, we all support you here! <3

[Sunchaser]

My sister has a yoga dvd that i plan on borrowing from her, though i havnt asked her yet to make sure she still has them. I used to do yoga with mom and sister at the gym but then we stoped going to that gym cause of prices and all that. i have never been one for excersize except karate but its not karate its the T one that i cant spell :-p Once i talk to hub im going to try taking that agian since the instructor i have wants me back. I wasnt really good just i enjoyed it a lot.

I like that idea of the walking and taking a sketchbook with. I think i might instead use my camera though. I love taking pictures and we have some awsome birds around here. Ill have to see if i can find my camera though since we have done a lot of changing the house around so that we can put things where they need to be. *snugs jojo and BKC and everyone* your kind words have really helped.

[zarzamora]

Just a thought but if you have any stables nearby and free time it might be worth going and asking if they want you to do little photoshoots for them- its surprising just how tiring that can be- chasing after the ponies to get them running to get a good shot, or shifting around the areana to get the right angle. Horsey people LOVE having photo's taken of their ponies- and you love ponies so it'd be enjoyable for you too. and if you are good you could even charge them a bit for it!

[Sunchaser]

I would so do that Zarz but the closest horses to me are hour and half to two hours away. I am probally going to end up taking my dog ella to the beach, and getting my friend with her dog to come and take pictures that way. That way i can do some beach scenes since those are my favorite ones really. I dont know if ill be any good but if i do become good i might look into that with a photography friend of mine, the same one that did my engagement and wedding photos. Like my avatars latly :-p

[zarzamora]

  Thats a long way! Doggies are also awesome to photograph! I keep thinking of doing some photoshoots for people with ponies, my pics aren't bad! I'm official stud photographer for my friend becky who owns the stallion that Cara is in foal to, hehe 

[springacres]

Sunny - was it tae kwon do, or t'ai chi chuan?

[Sunchaser]

Tae kwon do.

[Sunchaser]

HUBBY IS COMING HOME! well not yet but he is coming home today ^_^ i got a call from him this morning and he will be home tonight and im hoping he is let off early and will be home around 2 or 3. Also paid our bills and we w ill be going out to eat tonight though that will be the only out to eat we have for this pay check lol

[SkySong]

Congrats sunny ^^ If you haven't picked a place yet, I'd suggest a Japanese restaurant. They don't use a lot of oils, and the ingredients are over all healthy. Plus, the food can be really good, too.