At a loss for what to do...

[Country]

As a few of you know my mom and I do not get along in any sense of the word. We haven't spoken in a few months because of this. Sister sent me a message today saying that my mom had a mammogram done and the results were bad. I called my mom and talked to her. She won't know the diagnosis until tomorrow. I'm afraid fior her. I may not like her but i do love her. My husband is upset that i called her because she does nothing but use me and makes my life hell whenever she can by waking all over me and trying to bully me into doing what she wants me to do. I'm scared and I really don't know what to do. ..

[Luv007]

Sounds like your husband is being a bit of a bully too then.  You have a right to love the woman, even if you don't see eye to eye.  He needs to respect your feelings.

Usually after being used for so long, we learn when we are starting to be used again and can pick up on the early signs.  I would tell your husband that you will watch for those, and do.  Be hyperaware of her manipulative ways.

No matter what the results return, your mom can and will fight I'm sure.  My mother is a breast cancer survivior.  My thoughts are with you.  <3

[Country]

Its not that he is being a bully, she started her manipulations during the phone call, I know where he is coming from, it hurts him to see me crying and upset because of her. We are planning to try and go down to see her during the summer.

She has done a lot of things to me in the past that no mother would ever do to their child...and I am having a lot of mixed feelings about the whole ordeal if you know what I mean.

[The Patchwork]

Maybe now is a good time to talk about how you feel with her and try to bury the hatchet?

[Silvanon]

Sounds like you called her because it was in your heart to do so.  It's true with a manipulative person you can, if not careful, end up in situations you regret, but this is your mother we're talking about, and refusing completely to interact with her because you might end up in a regrettable situation could end up causing equal regret.  I think as long as you keep guard not to be pushed into doing what is not in your heart to do, then you won't regret doing what you do feel you want to do for her.  Perhaps it will help your husband (and maybe you) to take the view that what you do for your mother, you actually do for your own peace of mind, and never-mind how deserving/thankful/etc. she might be.