Needing Support (mature readers only please)

[Ryuukokoro]

Ehhh I dunno if this is really an appropriate thread for Secundi, so if this is removed, I won't be offended at all. ^^ This is normally the kind of thing I would post on my Facebook anyway, but there are people there who I don't want to know this. But I still need some shoulder to lean on right now and I hope it's okay to talk about it here.

I have decided I'm going to come out to my parents. Today. Right now. Now this shouldn't be such a big deal, I'm 27 years old and I'm only staying with them temporarily while I look for a new job and save up some money to get an apartment. But I dunno, I've been wanting to tell them for a while now but I keep wimping out. I tried last Thanksgiving and last Christmas when I was visiting for the holidays but both times I ended up going back to Indiana without saying anything. Now I'm back in Maine and I feel like I've been putting it off for too long.

My parents are really nice, level-headed, common sense folk. It's not like they're going to throw me out or something! I don't think they'll really have anything against it at all but.. I dunno, for some reason I'm terrified. My knees are knocking together right now just thinking of doing it. I tried practicing in the mirror this morning and my mouth wouldn't even move to make the words. >.<

But I'm not the kind of person to let fear stop me from doing something! I want to tell them, because... I dunno? It feels like I've been hiding it for a long time? (I'm kinda afraid they're going to be more upset that I haven't told them for like four years since I figured it out.) I feel like they're my parents and they should know.

Anyway, yeah, wish me luck! I'm trying to work up the courage to walk upstairs right now. >.>

[TheLeet]

Oh dear, good luck!
From what you've said they should be fine with it and it should all go well. I can imagine that it's difficult to just tell them out of the blue but if you'd wait for a good opportunity you'd probably be waiting forever.

I hope they'll be ok with it. You never know, they might have even already guessed 

[PonyMama]

Good Luck Ryuu.  They will love you no matter what remember that.
And also remember that they may not take it well right away, they may need time to absorb what is said, but on the other hand they may have already known and just been waiting for you to admit to them.

Either way time to do this,a nd good luck.  Let us know how it all goes

[Keilin Alyr]

Good luck and deep breaths, Ryuu. *hugs* You'll be okay and everything's going to be fine, no matter what happens. I'm sure they'll be understanding though. =)

[springacres]

Good luck, Ryuu.  Your parents may need time to absorb this, but hopefully they will realize it doesn't change who you are as a person.  Do let us know how it goes.  *massive hugs and squishes*

[BabyKittenCandy]

*hugs* Good luck Ryuu hun Sometime like this is never easy and I can understand you being scared of telling them, but if they are as great as you, Im sure they will just be happy if you are. Just give them a bit of time to take it in and try to remember how much they love you and regardless of what they may say in shock that wont change.

Let us know how it goes.

[Kadana Sorano]

Goodluck Ryu! 

[Sunchaser]

*snuggles* I love you ryuu and good luck

[Spixy]

Good luck ryuu dear *hugs*
It'll be alright =) I can't imagine how hard it must be - but just sit down, deep breath and tell them, they're your parents, they'll love you no matter what <3

[Blondie_63]

Good Luck Ryuu!! No matter what, like PM said, your parents will still love you nothing you say or do can change that. Doesn't change the fact that telling them is not going to be easy but I applaud you for getting the courage to actually tell them!

[Ryuukokoro]

Aww, you guys are so sweet. ^_^

My parents just laughed and told me they already figured that out a long time ago, and said don't I feel silly for getting so worked up over it? They are good folks.

You guys are great. I didn't have the guts to do it without posting here first, cuz I knew you'd support me. *hugs all*

[TheLeet]

Yay
I'm glad it went that well ^_^

[PonyMama]

I am glad it went so well. 

[Scullisto]

Thats how it went for my folks too...seemed everyone knew before me *lol*

[Keilin Alyr]

Aww, I'm glad everything worked out! *hugs*

[BabyKittenCandy]

Glad it is all sorted hunny and that ur folks were so ace about it

*hugs*

[springacres]

LOL, glad it went so smoothly!  *hugs*

[xenon]

Yay, I'm glad it went over well! It takes a lot of courage to talk to your parents about, and I'm so glad you were able to do it. <3 It must be a terrific load off of your shoulders, especially knowing now that you have their support. You rock!

[Leafy]

*snugs a Ryuu* I don't get it, no one should love you any less for making that sort of a decision in your life, you're still the same person you were and always have been. I'm glad it went well ^_^

[bewilderness]

Glad it went well.  Coming out to my family as trans was one of the hardest things I've done.  My sister is cool with it but my mom has been really upset with me.  She thinks I'm mentally ill and perverted and she wants to have nothing to do with my transition.  And she says she still loves and supports me but I don't see how she's being supportive at all.

[springacres]

I agree, bewilderness.  You can't help it that you were born with your brain one gender and your body physically another, and to have your mother thinking you're mentally ill and perverted is about as unsupportive as I can imagine.

I can relate, somewhat - my dad's brother didn't tell his family he was gay until his oldest son was college-age.  At which point he'd been married to my aunt (now my ex-aunt, but I still call her my aunt) for close to two decades and had 4 kids.  That was close to fifteen years ago, and my aunt and cousins are still dealing with the emotional repercussions.  I have no idea at what point in his life Uncle Steve realized he was gay, or the actual date of his coming out (I was not told he was gay until I was 16, and I still didn't fully understand what that meant for his family until some time later) but I do recall thinking when I first heard it, "Okay, so Uncle Steve is gay.  What's the big deal?  He's still the wonderful, funny uncle I've always known."

[Saiki]

I'm glad it went so well for you, Ryuu! *hugs*

[YourLoveOnly]

I'm glad it went well!

I am bisexual myself, in my family only my aunt knows, but I've met a girl I am considering dating so if that happens I am telling everyone. I think my parents may very well be aware, because I am not secretive about it so it could be that they saw me with a girl once or heard me talking about it with friends or something like that.

The people I am friends with have all accepted it, but when I was still in school I had a lot of students who thought me and my girlfriend were just dating as a joke to get attention or something like that >.> And we had a principal who was christian and couldn't stand us dating so he treatened to expell us if we even held hands.. err, sir, I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to do that. So yea, school was not fun, at all. But I have always just wanted to be myself, I am not going to hide a relationship with someone I really love because of some immature people. One girl talked to me about it a little while ago when we were talking about our lives the past few years and she was summing up what she had seen and heard about me and went like ".. and then you were suddenly bisexual" No. I was always bisexual, I've known since I was very young that I was attracted to both boys and girls, I just never found a girl I really liked. I don't get along with girls very well, almost all of my friends are guys, so up until that point I had never dated a girl. Sure I could find a girl I thought was pretty, but she was the first girl that had a personality that made me fall in love with her (I also thought she was gorgeous, but the personality won me over) and lucky for me it was a mutual thing. Just because I never dated a girl before doesn't mean I am not serious about my first girlfriend >.> If you get a boyfriend for the first time it's not like people say "well you never dated before so you must be faking it" so why should this be different? Ugh.

[Silvanon]

Ryu, I'm happy for you that the discussion with your parents went alright.

Asking for support in talking with your parents is fine.  However, the conversation now seems to be straying to a discussion of sexuality itself, which, being the politically charged topic that it is, I think is not appropriate for the general forums.  I'm going to go ahead and lock the topic now.  Anyone who wishes to continue the discussion may certainly do so via PM.

Thanks everyone!