I need someone to talk to

[hiyoko]

I am planning on moving w/ my friend and her family to Washington (state), because of the problems my mother and sister have caused me. I think I have depression, but it only comes about when I'm around them. My mother, who is messed up because of her mother, does love me. But I just can't take it when both her and my sister yell at me and put me down. Throughout my high school life, I did...some things to try and make the pain I felt go away. My best friend has been there for me since the day...I really tried to stop the pain. I'm sure you all think really differently of me, but I really need to talk to someone. I don't want to worry my friend as I'm still crying from them (mom and older sis) ganging up on me for planning on moving in Feb. Please, post whatever you want to say, anything is fine.

[red_uni387]

*squishes tight* you really need to do what's best for yourself, no matter what other people say. your mother and sister may love you, but if they push you to the point where you look for something that takes the pain away, it's time to do something. I hope your depression starts to disappear soon <3

[springacres]

*squishes too*  I've been there too.  Not because of anyone putting me down - my clinical depression is just a result of the way my brain is wired - and not to the point where I was ready to... give up completely... but close enough that I knew I needed help.  I'm really glad to hear that you have someone who has been there for you through your worst times and are looking to move in with her, away from the relationships that are being so destructive in your life right now.  Hopefully, the added distance and not living under the same roof will help too.  In the meantime, drop me a PM if you ever need to talk.

*huge hugs*

[hiyoko]

Thanks you two, I'm glad I'm not thought of as weird. I've kept it bottled up, because I'm ashamed and don't want others to peity me, but I really needed some advice.

[red_uni387]

awww hiyoko we'd never think of you as weird <3 it's nothing to be ashamed of, and really bottling up emotions never does any good. we're all here for each other, to help with mostly unbiased feelings

[Silvanon]

Well, let's see.  First off, you're a legal adult.  At this point, your family definitely has no right to be trying to force you to stay home.  In fact, it's the time in most people's lives where they do leave home.  Your decision is a perfectly normal part of one's life course, even if your family can't see that.  And, given what you've said about your home life, I think you're making a very wise decision.

Depression is far more normal than you think.  I don't know why we're all so ashamed to talk about it, but once you do start, you start finding out that many people around you have it.  I actually have very few of my circle of friends who don't have some form or other of depression.  I also have it.

Perhaps it'll help to think of this too - depression does tend to run in families.  If you're experiencing it, it's a good chance other people in your family are experiencing it too.  Different people react differently to depression, and some people get mean.  So, when your family members start saying horrible things, it may not be "them" talking, it may be their depression.  That doesn't mean it's ok for them to say horrible things, nor does it mean you should try to stay in a destructive situation.  It does mean you can set aside the things they say, since words born of depression aren't rational or factual, and they also don't represent what the person would say or feel if they weren't depressed.

Another thought - this may sound trite, but my dad gave me this coping mechanisim when I was upset about my siblings calling me names as a kid, and it's helped me throughout my life.  When someone says something mean, ask yourself "Is it true?"  If it's not, then don't believe what they said.  If it is, then say "That's OK.  I'll work on that.  And in the meantime, I'm still a worthwhile person."

[hiyoko]

Thanks Silv and red, you're both right. Also, my mother does have depression and is bipolar and I think my sister is bipolar too. My dad is really the only stable person, but he can't stop those two once they've started. My brother, is also no help since he lives 30mins away and I can't always get a hold of him.

I love secundi, it's a nice place where we're able to talk to one another w/out worry.

[Echowing]

*hug* Good luck with moving, it sounds like it'll help. And don't worry about depression. I've been badly depressed before (around my parents divorce) and I'm sure it's common enough especially during stressful times.

[indigowulf]

What part of Washington hun? If its anywhere near Spokane, I can meet you and show you around some time

[YourLoveOnly]

*hugs* I think it's admirable that you see what's going on and choose to deal with it and find a solution. That takes a lot of strength. And like silvanon said, a lot of people struggle with some form of depression. I have borderline personality disorder, something that can be amazingly difficult to deal with, not only for myself but also for the people around me. You're not weird at all. Every person has issues, even the ones that try to pretend they're flawless. It's much better to admit that there are issues and figure out a way to deal with them. My mom has the same disorder, but she keeps telling herself there's nothing wrong with her. As a result of that the disorder only causes her more trouble. I don't always have an easy life and ignoring it all seems tempting, but I know I will only feel better if I deal with them, even if that's really difficult at first. I defenitely think you're doing the right thing here. <3

[hiyoko]

Thanks guys.

Indigo- I'm moving to Tacoma.

[indigowulf]

Ouch. I personally can't stand Tacoma, because I have a sensative respratory system. The smog literally makes me ill. But I do have 2 really good (male) friends in that area. Im sure my friend Chris would be willing to show you the best fun places around there, especially if you guys happen to like karaoke. Like me with Spokane, he knows every karaoke club in the area

[hiyoko]

Sadly, I'm use to smog. I live in a valley right now and so the smog from L.A comes from the moutains and we have to deal with it. But I'm tired of living in a small town and see the world! But my mom is trying to get me to stay by hooking me up w/ a cute Asian guy, who I'm suppose to me in like half an hour.lol

[Tribe]

Now see im quite fond of my bitty town, ive seen parts of the world that i wouldnt trade my podunk town for XD

When i went to washington i was in a bigger city cant even remember the name but it was so smoggy and icky that i came home so sick i swore id never go back. That also cut me off from wanting to see other cities like it, so ive pretty much visited quaint little places like madison indiana (though it can get smoggy due to smoke stacks in the area off the ohio river) and small places around kentucky and so on..i couldnt even stand nashville/green hills tennesee theres just to many people..im not a people person lol

[indigowulf]

Western washington can get smoggy and nasty. Eastern Washington (like Spokane, where I live) are pretty clean and pure.

Ooh cute asian guy for hiyoko

[hiyoko]

If I don't like it there, I can always come back here. But I really just want to be a flight attendent and see the world! *coughs* Go to Japan *coughs*

Yes, asian guys are awesome, though it could be because I'm a "white" girl.*sighs* German/Irish/Canadian/tiny bit Native American.

I've only ever see PA. (born in Washington, PA) and here (CA). Both small towns and boring.