Where Bunraku is right now

[Bunraku]

Hello everyone,

As much as I don't like to admit it, I feel very strongly that I've fallen behind the standard I set for myself when I first came to secundi. I wanted Sleeping Ocean and all of my adoptables to become something that was updated regularly and had monthly events. Instead, I find myself heavily backlogged. This is no ones fault but my own. I owe many people many things that are all work in progress, but I am always slow in completing them due to one situation or another that crops up and gets in my way. Trust me when I say that I am working on everything I owe. I -want- to be working on these things. I hate leaving anything unfinished, and it genuinely upsets me that I feel as though I've become one of those people that makes promises and never keeps them, when I fully intend to. I love making trades, I love coloring adoptables, and above all I enjoy customizing line edits. I think the thing I love most IS making edits, because I have the chance to make something unique for someone.

This isn't a thread about making excuses, though. These things will get finished. I'm not giving up, and I'm not backing out of what I promised others, even if some of these things have been due for far longer than I would have liked. But I want everyone to understand why it has taken me so long to complete them, so that I'm not leaving you in the dark.

In addition to a very heavy course load this semester and work, I ended up injuring myself over the winter months. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I have a lingering pain in my shoulder that flares up now and again-this pretty much reached it's peak when I was doing my Christmas event, because I basically colored and colored without letting myself rest as I should have while sitting at a desk that wasn't doing me any favors as far as comfort was concerned. I was kind of convinced it would just 'go away'...but it didn't.

I went to the doctor, and was diagnosed with tendonitis. While pain medicines help, I am still forced to rest two to three days in between any extensive drawing or else I will put myself back in the place I was in late December and Early January- basically waking with so much pain and stiffness that I could not turn my neck to the right or lift my arm above the level of my shoulder. But  problem gradually progressed to become a swelling that centers at the base of my neck, in the middle of my shoulders, where the spine transitions into the curve of the neck. I do not yet know what this additional problem actually is, because I haven't had a chance to return to my doctor. I found The fluid build up is eased by non perscription diuretics, I can get myself into a state where I feel relatively normal and am able to draw (and have been) earlier in march and april. Which made me feel a lot better about getting things done.

But rather stupidly, feeling normal and thinking that I'd be okay, I did some gardening a few weeks ago and threw myself back a few paces. All it was was weeding, but it was enough to cause the tension in my muscles to flare up. I'm stuck with a stiff shoulder, so for the moment, I'm forced to rest, even though I don't really want to.

Both of these conditions are causing me a great deal of frustration. I'm an artistic person-I love to draw, and it depresses me that these goals aren't being met. I'm only glad that I can still type and that I can alleviate some of that frustration through other means like RP- but that doesn't change the anxiety I feel when I'm not getting the things done I should be getting done. All I ask is that you please bear with me. I know you have so far, I know all of you have been very patient. I do not want to back out of the things I promised-I want to complete them. I just have to do so at my own pace, resting in between, and letting myself recover.

I also apologize for not having informed the community sooner. I don't really like coming out with things like this, because I just feel like I'm making excuses for myself, even if the opposite is true. It's a little nerve wracking to do so. But I hope that the fact that I try to maintain a consistent presence on Secundi even if I am quiet speaks for itself and my intention to remain and finish things.

Thank you,

Bunraku

[SGA]

*hugs* I hope the worst of it gets better soon Bun, and that the Dr's can figure out something to help you long run.

[Saturnalia]

<333

[Silvanon]

That does sound painful and frustrating.  *hugs*  I hope it gets better, but in the meantime, thanks for letting us know, and I'm sure we'll all be patient and understanding.

[Elenaria]

Hey, Bunk, lovey.

Tis i, sera. <333  i utterly understand the frustration and even anger that comes from a long-term physical issue that flares up from time to time. 

It's incredibly frustrating to WANT to do all of these things, to have all of these things owed, to know that if you were just 'normal', you could knock it out (or start knocking it out) and just get everything done.  Or those days you're as close to normal as you can be, so you take on new projects with that schedule in mind only to have it flare up suddenly and you can't do any of it anymore.....

Thank you for letting us know.  i haven't been concerned about the things owed to me so much as concerned about your absence.  : ( <333  i know you'll get things done when you can, and i prefer quality, though, please! Not at the cost of your health! =-0 <333

Do what you can.  Take your time to ease in.  Don't push it too much, especially not with tendonitis. :/  From what i understand (i was diagnoses with tendinitis a few times (for all that's not what they think it is now.... lol?), and that's not actually something that will ever fully go away. :/  That means that it'll be a matter of you being careful of how often and long you do art and make sure you schedule in the breaks that all of us artists should be taking anyway.  ^^;;;;

i love you and, thank you again, for posting and letting us know. <33333

[Winged]

Hi Bun. It sounds incredibly frustrating to be in the position you're on with tendonitis, i don't know anyone who has that but sounds horrible! Hopefully the doctor can find a way to help you manage it long term. Have you tried a physio or someone similar? They might be able to help too.

I personally have never minded about any of the things owed to me, you've got a legitimate reason and you've always been good about keeping me updated.

Take your time, your health always comes first

[Bunraku]

Thank you for the support, guys. Really, it does take a lot of stress off of my shoulders to hear things like this. I do worry, quite a bit about what I owe. I am feeling better lately, so I'm going to do my best to finish some of the simpler customs.

Or those days you're as close to normal as you can be, so you take on new projects with that schedule in mind only to have it flare up suddenly and you can't do any of it anymore.....

This right here is definitely me .__.; I get very enthusiastic about taking on artistic projects when I feel good, and then want more to do.